He knew the conversation needed to happen. He'd known for three months. Every week he told himself he'd find the right moment. Every week something more urgent got in the way.
And the employee kept doing the thing. And the team kept noticing. And the silence started to say something he never intended.
He wasn't avoiding because he didn't care. He was avoiding because nobody had ever taught him how to have that conversation. Performance management in a startup is often whoever's willing to do it without a framework, without training, and without much margin for error.
So it doesn't happen. Or it happens badly. Either the feedback never comes until it explodes. Or it comes all at once, without context, and lands like an ambush. Both feel unfair. Because they are. The employee deserved to know sooner. The manager deserved to be equipped.
What looks like a people problem is often a process problem. What feels like conflict is often the cost of a conversation that was delayed too long. Performance doesn't manage itself. And silence is never neutral. It always means something. The question is whether you're the one choosing what it means.
Imported from Post Archives — APR Posts Week 04-06.docx